WellMed Charitable Foundation Executive Director Carol Zernial is a noted gerontologist, radio show host, and Chair of the National Council on Aging. The non-profit WellMed Charitable Foundation focuses on complimentary programs impacting seniors and family caregivers, including weekly telephone learning sessions, evidence-based classes on stress reduction and more. Find out more at www.CaregiverSOS.org or toll-free at 1-866-390-6491.
As caregivers, we need a lot of light in our lives. We often spend too much time inside, behind the curtains, at home, in a hospital or in a care facility. This can lead us to spend too much time in the dark, in our own heads, and not enough time interacting with the bright world outside.
I met a Vietnam veteran who has literally been carrying a suitcase with him every day for the past 45 years. Inside are photos about his war experiences. He needed to talk about them, to air out his mind, and allow someone else to hear his story. He wanted to help others learn from his experience.
Sound familiar? As caregivers, we need to check to see if we picked up some baggage in the dark times of our lives.
Anger, anxiety, and stress are common companions for us. I know the last year of my mother’s life had plenty of these emotions to go around. Allowing our struggles to live in the shadows leaves them in the shadows. The layers of guilt and anger don’t go away until we see them, deal with them, and let them go.
There are therapists, clergy and support groups where we can safely express our fears and frustrations. We shouldn’t be afraid to use them. The simple act of talking to someone else can make a world of difference.
I would not want anyone to wait almost the entirety of their lives to make peace with their experiences. Let’s all open our suitcases and take out the stories we need to tell now. We’ll be able to see the difference between the shadow and the sun, and our steps will be so much lighter.